Just How Painful Was It?

My son Mike had his wisdom teeth pulled today, and I know he is going to be in a little pain for a while, so that got me to thinking about how painful things can be. And so I looked it up. And I found the Justin O. Schmidt Pain Index.  Schmidt was an entomologist at the Carl Hayden Bee Research Center. Schmidt has been stung by the majority of the stinging Hymenoptera, which is one of the  largest orders of insects, comprising the sawflies, wasps, bees and ants. I wonder if Nate's friends at the Nature Museum would agree with these. Here from Wikipedia is a partial list from least (1.0) to worst (4.0).    

• 1.0 Sweat bee: Light, ephemeral, almost fruity. A tiny spark has singed a single hair on your arm.
• 1.2 Fire ant: Sharp, sudden, mildly alarming. Like walking across a shag carpet and reaching for the light switch.
• 1.8 Bullhorn acacia ant: A rare, piercing, elevated sort of pain. Someone has fired a staple into your cheek.
• 2.0 Bald-faced hornet: Rich, hearty, slightly crunchy. Similar to getting your hand mashed in a revolving door.
• 2.0 Yellowjacket: Hot and smoky, almost irreverent. Imagine W. C. Fields extinguishing a cigar on your tongue.
• 2.x Honey bee and European hornet: Like a matchhead that flips off and burns on your skin.
• 3.0 Red harvester ant: Bold and unrelenting. Somebody is using a drill to excavate your ingrown toenail.
• 3.0 Paper wasp: Caustic and burning. Distinctly bitter aftertaste. Like spilling a beaker of hydrochloric acid on a paper cut.
• 4.0 Tarantula hawk: Blinding, fierce, shockingly electric. A running hair drier has been dropped into your bubble bath.
• 4.0+ Bullet ant: Pure, intense, brilliant pain. Like fire-walking over flaming charcoal with a 3-inch rusty nail in your heel.  

I would put at 4.1 - having to listen to Hannah Montana for the tenth time today with your 5 year old daughter - at least according to my friend Carey.   


Good luck, Mike. Hope you are feeling better tomorrow. And since you are off solid food for a little while, you won't be biting one of these soon: 

the European Paper Wasp, a 3.0 with a distinctly bitter aftertaste. Ick!