On the Possibility of Grandkids

I am going to commit a cardinal sin here and let my kids know that if they don't have kids it's OK with me. Now I know that it is a high-ranking goal of nearly every parent to have grandchildren. I know my Mom and Dad loved to go to their grandchildren's basketball and soccer games, graduations, and school activities if they were around. And the fact that I am in Ohio at my Dad's house and Ann is not means that I haven't had a chance to shoot this past Ann before I wrote it. She may disagree entirely, although I think she would agree that whatever our kids decide is OK with us. We are very much a "right to your own choice" family.

What prompted this was an article in Reproductive Health magazine (here on their website) by a woman who writes "I am the Population Problem". I think when most of us think about the population problem, we tend to fix the blame on other groups of people: those people in Africa or India cranking out babies without any thought, or immigrants here in the US who arrive with 5 or 6 children in tow. But Lisa Hymas makes a very strong claim that the population problem actually rests with the middle - upper class , usually white family. Her point is based on that trendy concept of "carbon footprint". Now people who know me know that I tend to scoff at the "suburban environmentalist". In my mind these are the people I see at the recycling yard getting out of their Cadillac Escalade dropping off their aluminum pop cans. I have reservations about what impact they are having on the environment. Ms. Hymas makes that point very well.    

When a poor woman in Uganda has another child, she might dampen her family's prospects for climbing out of poverty or add to her community's challenges in providing everyone with clean water and safe food, but she certainly isn't placing a big burden on the global environment.    

When someone like me has a child—watch out, world!  Gear, gadgets, gewgaws, bigger house, bigger car, oil from the Mideast, coal from Colombia, Coltan from the Congo, rare earths from China, pesticide-laden cotton from Egypt, genetically modified soy from Brazil. And then when that child has children, wash, rinse, and repeat it all (in hot water, of course). Without even trying, we Americans slurp up resources from every corner of the globe and then spit 99 percent of them back out again as pollution.   

She bolsters her argument the way everyone should - with statistics (real ones, not the ones the TV and radio political talking heads make up every day).    

Far and away the biggest contribution I can make to a cleaner environment is to not bring any mini-me's into the world. A 2009 study by statisticians at Oregon State University found that in America the climate impact of having one fewer child is almost 20 times greater than the impact of adopting a series of eco-friendly practices for your entire lifetime, such as driving a hybrid, recycling, using efficient appliances and installing compact fluorescent lights.     

That's a pretty compelling statistic.  Now I am not attempting in any way, shape, or form, to tell people not to have kids. I have two great kids and they are a major focus in my life. But having kids is the original irreversible life-changing operation. If it is not a step you think you are really excited about, don't let other people guilt you or manipulate you into having kids.  I saw plenty of parents while I was teaching who seemed to have kids because they were supposed to. They were not especially wanted or prized except as trophies to show off to their competitors friends. "My child is in the gifted program, you know, and let me tell you what she did last week...."    

So, kids.  You decide. If kids are in your future, great. I have been practicing on Whimzy (our new puppy) and think I would make a great grandfather. And in our larger extended family, a new baby is on the way and you can tell that he/she will be the center of focus for the new parents (and soon - to - be grandparents). We are happy for them and think they are making the right decision. But don't have kids because everybody else is. Being a parent doesn't make you a better person, just a different person. We'll be here for you whatever you decide.