Fast Times at Battle Creek High

We stayed overnight in Battle Creek, Michigan last week. We were in Michigan for Patrick and Brittany's baby shower and found a Baymont Inn in downtown Battle Creek that was reasonably priced. That might explain why, as were leaving to go to dinner and we explained to the young lady at the front desk that our toilet was not working properly, she suggested we stop at the desk on our way back through and pick up the toilet plunger to see if that would fix the problem. It is the "many hands make light work" business model. Our hands in fact did make the problem go away and we returned the plunger to the front desk later, a warm spot in our heart for solving a serious plumbing issue without having to resort to maintenance men (or women).  So our initial take on Battle Creek was colored somewhat by that incident. Battle Creek - a tough town full of tough people who take care of their own troubles ... and expect you to do the same. In case you don't live around here, Battle Creek is known as the home of breakfast cereal. From Wikipedia:  

Battle Creek, known as the "Cereal City", is the world headquarters of Kellogg Company, founded by Will Keith Kellogg in 1906, whose brother, Dr. John Harvey Kellogg, invented cold breakfast cereal as an alternative to the traditional meat-based breakfast. It is also the founding location of Post Cereals which is now Post Holdings, as well as the location of a Ralston Foods cereal factory.  

Ralston Foods, known earlier as Ralston Purina, was the marketer of the Chex cereals which are primarily used in snack mixes for parties and of Cookie Crisp cereal, an attempt to recreate the great combination of chocolate chip cookies and milk. 

Ann and I each went at separate times to Battle Creek as kids to do the tours of the factories and earn the little boxes of cereal as gifts for completing the tour.  The factories are gone now, overseas or in Mexico, so the tour is pretty lame.  As simple Ohio folk, we were big on factory tours. Ann and I went on a tour of the McCormick Spice Factory in downtown Baltimore and enjoyed it very much.


 Now, however, my image of Battle Creek has changed. As we drove back to the motel in the evening, we passed a small shopping center that included the store shown below.  

Now I think of otters as being able to generate their own good times, but Battle Creek otters must show up at more organized activities as well (maybe they do WhirlyBall, like Dana). This storefront seemed like a good chance for your urban otter to get together with his/her mates and bust loose, as otters are prone to do. Upon further inspection, though, the primary sales at the Otter Oasis were cigar and cigarette accessories.  

That seemed like a path that otters might not want to follow. I don't know how picky otters are about their health, but my instincts are that they tend to be fresh-air, playing in the river kind of mammals. My resident otter expert lives in Portland, Oregon, now, so I don't have the direct line to what otters are thinking nowadays, but "Does that come with a Menthol tip?" seems out of place to me.   

Luckily, the otters are not left solely to their own devices. At the shopping strip across from Otter's Oasis was a newer store dedicated to helping those otters that don't know when to stop. It is known as Otter's Oasis Detox Depot:      

Here, I assume, otters can work their way through the seven steps to detoxification. Step 1 is to put yourself in the hands of a higher power. For otters, I would guess that would be Kooshda, the dreaded land otter of the Tlingit people. Kooshda are human from the waist up and otter from the waist down, Something like this, maybe:    

Sometimes considered the bogeyman of the Tlingit people, maybe they can improve their image in the community by acting as sponsors for Otters Anonymous.

We were sorry we didn't have time to stop and talk to the otters about the perils of urban ottering. I'm sure it would have been fascinating.  Maybe next time.  Hang tough, little otter dudes. Fight the good fight.    

Next up - on to Toronto, land of friendly people and funny money.