Stress

School has started and that means it's time to write our first essay for Mrs. Geiger, my second grade teacher: what I did this summer. Over the next few posts I'll update you on what has been going on, but first I think it's important to let you know that, contrary to public opinion, we retired people do have moments of stress. Mine occurred over the last week as I got closer to retiling the bathroom. Now that doesn't sound like a very stressful job. In fact, as I was taking up tile this past weekend, I realized that I had done that job at least four times before (four layers of old tile came off the floor). Unfortunately, they were all wrong. When we went looking for tile, the nice people at the tile store implied that only a neanderthal would put tile in the bathroom without lifting the toilet and tiling underneath. So that meant a lot more work. It also meant we weren't going with the old standard (cheap) peel and stick tiles. We got vinyl plank tiling that is called floating tile. It doesn't stick to the floor. The two-foot by one-foot tiles interlock with each other on all four sides. That means they can shift as you are working so you always have to be checking that they are in the right place before you measure to cut the next one. 

Now none of that is overly stressful. We needed one extra tile so we had to buy an extra box of tiles. That means I have lots of chances to correct mistakes. I'm not really handy, but I've done a lot of the work around the house just by reading up and watching you-tube videos. And if you give me plenty of chances to make it better, usually the final outcome looks pretty good. I installed a 20 foot X 30 foot wood deck from scratch (with Dave's help from time to time), redid the front porch with all its slats from scratch, and generally feel if you give me enough time, I can probably do the job.  

There's the crucial word: time. Because we had to lift the toilet, it made sense to replace it with a new one that is higher and more water efficient. It was the same amount of effort either way. Unfortunately, we only have the one bathroom. You can't take your time when your bathroom is out of commission. This is the definition of stress.   

Let's see. What could go wrong? The project starts right at noon. 

1. Well, the 25 year old nuts and bolts might be rusted.   After fifteen seconds of turning them, I realized the nut wasn't getting any closer to the top of the bolt, but just spinning in place. Out came the hacksaw and fifteen minutes later the toilet is freed from the floor. I remembered to turn off the water ahead of time and clean out the bowl and the tank, so not much mess there. Ann and I try to take the tank off the back, but those bolts won't move and it's not worth cutting them by hand. It just means that it will be heavier to lift onto the cart and haul outdoors. We get that done and now it looks like this:  

             

I fill in the spots around the hole with old basement tiles to bring it level to the rest of the old tile, which is tan and speckled and we really can't remember it (remember we removed four layers of tile from above the speckled one) so we assume that was there when we bought the house. That means the guy before us cut out the tile around the toilet, too, rather than tile under it. Over the next two hours, I put down the new tile across the room (except for around the vanity which I can do after the toilet is in). And, yes, I'm putting the tile around the vanity and not underneath because we don't need a new vanity and that's a lot more hoses and pipes that have to be redone to make it fit. Laying the tile includes making a nice circular cutout in the tile where it goes above the hole. Probably the most I've used the Dremel tool   

in ten years. Worked perfectly (except for having to put new cutting disks on every five minutes because they broke off and went flying across the garage at 90 miles an hour).  So Ann and I read over the instructions for how to install the toilet, put on the magical wax ring, and together we lower the new toilet into place. Now everything I read implied that the toilet would need to be pushed down to seat the wax ring around the hole. That didn't happen. The toilet landed on the floor immediately. So back to the internet.  

2. Although it doesn't say anything in our instructions, it turns out the top of the hole needs to be at least a quarter inch above the floor to catch the wax ring. With the new tile, which is a lot thicker than press and stick tile, covering the area where the toilet used to be, the top of the hole is at least a quarter inch below the level of the tile. On the positive side, this meant we had to go to the hardware (which has restrooms - Yay!!). We buy extenders which will raise the top of the hole up to the right height, caulk to keep water from seeping through around the extenders, and a new magical wax ring. Ann and I put it all together, lift the toilet into place, and sure enough this time the toilet doesn't touch the floor (which is good). That means it is resting on the wax ring. As you push down on the toilet and tighten the nuts, the toilet gradually comes down to floor level. Pray with us that it doesn't leak.  

3. The next thing that can go wrong is that the tank which sits on the back of the toilet and holds the water doesn't fit. Well, luckily that didn't happen. It takes us a while together to figure out the instructions and tighten it enough that the tank is snug on the toilet base, but eventually we get there. There's not a lot of room in that bathroom. Add two people tightening screws and it gets pretty crowded. But we're still speaking to each other, so, so far, so good.  

4. Turn the water back on next to the toilet and let it fill up. Except you can't do that if the new toilet is higher and the old hose doesn't reach the bottom of the tank now. Luckily, we saw that one coming and picked up a new longer flexible hose at the hardware on the last trip. Those nuts aren't rusted, so that installation is really pretty easy. So now we can turn the water back on and let the tank fill up.  

It's nice that the hardware inside the tank that regulates the water level is already installed. I've done that before and I really don't enjoy it. Ann has to do some adjusting to get the water level in the tank right, but eventually we can't delay any longer and we have to flush the toilet and see if there are any leaks. Amazingly everything works the way it is supposed to. Once the toilet seat goes on, it looks perfect. I guess they were right when they told me that replacing a toilet is pretty easy. It's 6:30 now, so the whole toilet project takes only six and a half hours and required only one trip to the hardware in the middle. Even better, no animals (including us) were harmed during the completion of this project.   

The next day, I finish tiling - there are a lot of cutouts to do so it takes quite a while. Luckily Ann is gone most of the day so only Whimzy gets to hear me talk to the tile when it doesn't quite fit. All in all, though, it goes pretty well. I only make one mistake on the tiling that makes me redo a whole piece. I forgot to check the tabs on the side of the tiles where they interlock together and I cut a piece that had the low tab on the wrong side of the tile. I still end up with ten tiles left over (from a box of twelve). A little more hassle putting the new trim in place at the bottom of the bathroom walls and the project is pretty much done.   


And now, back to my normal level of stress.